I Am An Elitist T-Shirt Snob

Every week I get an affirmation from friends & followers about how I need to put my doodles on a T-Shirt and sell them online. 

I am not into this idea. Seriously, it's not my thing. 

My doodles might make good T-Shirts, but it messes up my flow if I start to think about slapping them on a shirt. 

I'm a top of the line, first class, elitist T-shirt snob. 

I have yet to find an online factory that can capture the essence of a doodle and put it on the best fabric to sell.  All of them seem like Hanes T's that will stretch and have no color balance. 

I was in pure T-shirt bliss when I lived in London, I'd find the most detailed and long-lasting tee's, hugely expensive but I'd wear them for years, they were worth every pound.  

Sure, there may be other reasons for my snobbery. 

I was 13 when a friend in Junior High asked me to paint an album cover design on the back of his denim jacket. I had no experience doing this kind of thing, but I loved to paint, so I accepted the challenge and the $25, to paint a "Ritchie Blackmore's Rainbow" album design on a Levi's jacket. 

It wasn't a cool process. 

I had no idea of the correct paints to use, or the gloss needed to really make the work look good.  I promised it would take a week, but it was months before I delivered it to him. 

The day I presented the jacket, my friend took it, stretched the jacket onto a school desk. A dozen of his metal-head friends gathered round him. 

There was a long silence. 

I imagined he was inspecting the gesture of the giant hand emerging from the ocean, or surveying the color of the rainbow and the visceral quality of the fist as it wrapped itself around that rainbow. 

More likely he was figuring out how many of his friends it would take to beat the hell out of me after school. 

"Ok, Petersen, you're off the hook," he barked, and put the jacket on.  

I got my $25, and over the school year watched as the paint chipped away from the jacket, piece by piece, the color faded, and the generousity of my friend as he gave the jacket away to a new student that needed clothes to wear. 

All right, I confess I may have escaped a beating from a bunch of mullet-wearing rockers, but I carry a few emotional wounds from the incident.  

But even when I get healing from these wounds, I'm still going to be a T-shirt snob. I mean, one of the best days of my life was getting a hemp tee with the Beatle's Apple Logo woven into the fabric in a minimalist design. 

I wore that dang shirt for years, it was true art.