Jesus, My Therapist Was a Buddhist!

"We buddhists have a saying: 'Did you have the dream, or does the dream have you?' 

I was telling my therapist about a vision I had: that I'd soon be directing films for a great Production Company who were friends of mine. 

The vision began with a dream, an actual, concrete, full-color dream that was so clear, so brimming with the "voice of God," that I had to yield to it. I had to steer my path to make this dream come true: I gave up a film I'd been working on, and a lot of my freelance work, to the creative direction of this Production Company. 

All it did was drive me into a crash. 

I sat in a therapists office, after a year of dream-chasing, my life in a creative mess. My friends at the Production Company were unhappy because my ideas were not jiving with theirs. I was miserable because the edgy weirdness I naturally carry was subdued to their normal mainstream-ery. 

And now even Jesus, who I previously got along really well with, was probably pissed off at me because my therapist was a Buddhist. 

She gave me a book by Sheldon Kopp, "If You Meet the Buddha On The Road, Kill Him." 

This book changed my life. It claimed I was responsible for my own life, my own therapy, even my own faith-- my subservience to authority burned away as I devoured each chapter.  

Ultimately, I had creatively dimmed my own voice to another, in fear of not being hired by the BBC, or being cast into outer darkness by Heavenly powers-that-be, or not being accepted by the mainstream. 

Subservience is a killer of creativity.